


the drum of your heart

by starlightstarshine



Series: Music, Muses and Models [2]
Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27528055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightstarshine/pseuds/starlightstarshine
Summary: Zheng Xi has never been the romantic one in the band (He Tian has that spot well filled up with all that pining over some redhead) but an encounter at a party leaves him drowning in love.Or, the one where Zheng Xi is the drummer of the world’s biggest band and Jian Yi is the face of one of the top idol groups of this era and despite all the signs pointing them not to, they fall in love.
Relationships: Jian Yi/Zhan Zhengxi (19 Days)
Series: Music, Muses and Models [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998166
Comments: 5
Kudos: 64





	the drum of your heart

“Do you believe in true love?” 

The question catches Zheng Xi off guard because he’s too focused on bombarding He Tian with messages to _hurry the fuck up_ that he was barely paying attention to Xiao Hui’s rambling. So when he hears that question, his ears pricking up on the word ‘love’, he almost drops his phone in surprise at it. 

Zheng Xi blinks at their main vocalist in alarm, “That’s an incredibly random question.” 

Xiao Hui shrugs nonchalantly but her cheeks tinge red, “I was just wondering cause you're close to He Tian whose a hopeless romantic but you don’t… seem as much?” 

Zheng Xi leans back in his chair, looking for a way to change the subject, his eyes surveying the almost empty practice room which should have been filled with sounds of them practising their new songs if Wei and He Tian actually knew how to be punctual. But alas, they both have no concept of time and he’s stuck with Xiao Hui trying to make friendly conversation. 

Their relationship isn't bad per se, at least it didn’t start so. When they first met in university they actually got along pretty well and would find themselves going off on their own to internet cafes, bonding over their shared interest in video games. But somewhere along the way, Xiao Hui started liking Zheng Xi and Zheng Xi just couldn’t see them as anything but friends. 

Though she hasn’t confessed, her feelings are so obvious that anyone who meets them personally for the first time always gives them both a suspicious glance and a whisper to their PR manager to draft up plans to deal with the mess when everything crumbles. Even fans who only see a very watered-down version of them could spot it (but then again their fans ship all of them with each other). So though Zheng Xi knows she likes him, he doesn't do anything about it because he doesn't know how to reject someone much less reject someone without actually rejecting them cause they haven’t verbally told that they liked you yet. 

It’s an incredibly headache ensuing scenario and all Zheng Xi wants to do is play the drums, not get caught up with romantic drama. So now they’re just awkward, but their relationship is stable enough that it doesn’t ruin the band, _yet_. 

“Zheng Xi,” Xiao Hui presses when the other doesn’t answer. 

Zheng Xi sighs, and decides to be honest, “No, I don’t believe in true love.” 

Xiao Hui’s eyebrows shoot up, “Really? Why not?”

Thankfully, rather than being offended, she sounds more curious. Zheng Xi relaxes into his seat, “I don’t know, just the concept of loving someone that much doesn’t make sense to me. Like loving someone so much that you would do anything for them? Seems fake.”

Xiao Hui furrows her eyebrows in confusion as if she cannot even fathom the idea of someone not believing in the concept of love, “So you don’t think true love is real? Even in cases like Romeo and Juliet?” 

“Romeo and Juliet are fictional characters.” 

“Yes, but there are people like them. People who want to be together despite the world trying to tear them apart.” 

Zheng Xi drums his fingers against the arm of the couch, “I think it’s stupid. Why make your life difficult like that? Just be with someone who you can be with.” 

“But you can’t help who you fall in love with,” Xiao Hui protests. 

Zheng Xi feels a debate brewing and though he considers himself to be a pacifist, for some reason he couldn’t let this one go, “I think,” he argues, “that you can stop loving someone if you tried.” 

Xiao Hui eyes widen, “Seriously?” 

“I mean especially in the scenario of people like Romeo and Juliet,” Zheng Xi continues, rambling unlike himself as he finds something about this conversation absolutely irritating and the urge to prove Xiao Hui wrong grows by the minute, “how can you fall in love with someone you just met? Romeo and Juliet knew each other for like three days and were already ready to die for each other. Doesn’t make sense.” 

Xiao Hui frowns, “That’s just how true love works. You just know they’re the one.” 

“Seems fake,” Zheng Xi mumbles, quickly growing tired of the conversation. 

There are a few beats of silence before Xiao Hui talks again, “Maybe you just haven’t found the right person yet, who knows maybe that person could be in the same room” she comments, her face growing red. 

Zheng Xi knows exactly what she’s implying and though this is as good a time as any to push her away and essentially say _“not going to happen”_ , he couldn’t make himself utter the words. 

“Maybe,” he finds himself saying thoughtlessly, and he winces when Xiao Hui grins at him brightly. 

The conversation does not move along any further cause at that moment He Tian enters, his eyes on his phone as he texts someone ferociously on it. 

Zheng Xi narrows his eyes at his raven-haired bandmate, “So you just ignore my texts huh?” 

He Tian blinks up from his phone and gives the other a fake innocent smile, “What texts?” then he takes looks around the room and frowns when he only sees Zheng Xi and Xiao Hui, “Where’s Wei? Ugh don’t tell me he’s late again, does he not know how to be punctual?” 

Zheng Xi can’t help but laugh, “Just shut up and pick up your guitar you hypocrite. We’ll just get started without him.”

They get up and move to their places quickly. Zheng Xi is seated comfortably in front of his drums, holding the drumsticks up in the air as the adrenaline fills him up, he has always felt that same thrill every time before playing. It’s that addiction to that thrill that pushed him to join the band and make it his career. 

As they begin to play their music Zheng Xi forgets the conversation he had with Xiao Hui entirely.

* * *

Zheng Xi doesn’t particularly like parties, even if they were parties to celebrate his own band’s achievements. He’s the type to spend his Friday nights playing a video game rather than getting drunk with a bunch of strangers, even if those bunch of strangers were high-class celebrities. 

Zheng Xi doesn’t like parties but he doesn’t refuse to go to any of them. Attending social events is a great way to maintain connections and though Silver Gun is famous they are considerably new in the industry so they still need to show up to and hold these types of events. 

His bandmates give enough trouble to management that Zheng Xi tries to be as accommodating as possible which means that he bears through hours of loud music and intoxicated people if his company tells him to. 

It’s why he’s quietly nursing a drink in the corner of the club while literally everyone else is getting absolutely wasted around him. Even He Tian who was a hassle to bring to the after-party was kind of enjoying himself, chugging down a drink as people surrounded him in hopes to get him to talk to them. 

Zheng Xi downs the contents of his drink in one go and contemplates getting a couple more shots from the bar to help quiet down the noise around him. But it’s always been quite difficult for him to get drunk and he didn’t particularly like the feeling of intoxication so he resists the urge. 

As he stares down at his empty glass trying to figure out ways to entertain himself before his manager lets him go home, he hears a voice near him. 

“Does the glass change colours if you stare at it hard enough or something?” 

Zheng Xi startles at the sudden voice talking to him, almost dropping the glass in surprise because the words were more or less shouted at him to be heard through the loud blare of music around him. 

He glances up from his glass to find a pair of slanted hazel eyes staring down at him in curiosity. Zheng Xi takes in the pale complexion, wispy light blonde hair that reached up till the shoulders and the pink lips that were tilted in amusement of the man in front of him all at once. 

Within seconds it dawns unto him of who the stranger speaking to him was. 

Jian Yi, the center of J5. The heartthrob idol of the nation. 

Zheng Xi doesn’t even fuck with pop music like that and he could easily recognize the man. He’s the face to almost every popular brand for teenagers, his bright smile plastered all over the city and his voice the background to shopping trips and drives in the car as all the radio stations in the country find the need to play J5 once every three songs. 

Zheng Xi has seen him almost everywhere but nothing would have prepared him to see the man in real life. His beauty bewitching, and so much so that the drummer actually forgets to breathe for a couple of seconds. 

He must have been staring at the other for way too long because Jian Yi’s slight smile slips into a frown, and in a slightly concerned voice he says, “Um, you good?” 

Zheng Xi blinks up at him and clears his throat, “Um yeah just wasn’t expecting you, Jian Yi, to-”, and he stops because he can’t exactly say he wasn’t expecting Jian Yi here when everyone and their mothers knew that J5 was going to attend this party so he just stops mid-sentence, like a fool. 

Jian Yi stares at him in confusion, his head tilted as if he was waiting for the drummer to complete his thought. Zheng Xi could feel his neck grow warm, and he prays that whatever blush that appears on his face could just be assumed to be the glow caused by alcohol and not by making an absolute fool in front of an incredibly good looking man. 

They stare at each other blankly only broken by an awkward laugh from Jian Yi and a shift in his body language that really indicated that he wanted to get the hell out of this mess of a conversation. 

Panic grips Zheng Xi and it quickly hits him that he really, really doesn't want Jian Yi to leave. 

“I just didn’t think you would talk to me,” Zheng Xi says hurriedly without much thought and he winces as soon as he says it. 

_Can you sound anymore lame?_

Thankfully, Jian Yi just laughs, amused by the honesty. He runs his fingers through his hair and shyly smiles while he looks the drummer up and down, his gaze seemingly swallowing Zheng Xi on the spot. 

“And why wouldn't I want to talk to you?” he replies, with the tone that could only be described as sultry. 

Zheng Xi’s heart beats fast in his chest because _oh god Jian Yi from J5 is flirting with him_ and the drummer has never felt so out of his element. 

It’s not like people have never flirted with him before, but this is the first time he so desperately wants to flirt back and that feeling is completely new. But how the fuck do you make a good impression on someone like Jian Yi? 

Zheng Xi nervously chuckles as he sets his glass aside, his mind whirring through a billion possible ways to continue the conversation. 

Should he go for the confident route or the funny route? Sexy? Tsundere? 

He looks up at Jian Yi who is sipping his glass, and looking down at the drummer through his eyelashes, a small smile playing on his lips as he waits for the drummer to reply. 

Maybe because of how shyly Jian Yi peers at him, or how Zheng Xi can see a light tint of pink on the other’s cheeks, Zheng Xi relaxes because the country’s most popular idol is just as nervous as he is. 

“I’m sitting in the corner by myself,” Zheng Xi easily replies with a small smile, “if anything, I should be avoided.” 

Then Jian Yi laughs, a loud full laugh with his head tossed back and Zheng Xi’s heart soars with how pretty and warm the laugh is, it was like being bathed in sunlight after being out in the cold for hours. 

“I don’t know,” Jian Yi giggles, “you kind of looked cute sitting here and brooding, Zheng Xi.”

_Oh god, he knows my name._

Zheng Xi wrinkles his nose, his heart beating fast at the word “cute” but trying his absolute hardest not to show the effects that the single word had on him, “I swear I’m not usually this emo.” 

Jian Yi grins and runs his fingers through his hair again, and Zheng Xi is starting to feel like it's more of a gesture of nervousness rather than flirtatiousness and something about that notion fills him with warmth. 

“Not much of a party person?” the idol asks with a twinkle in his eyes. 

“Ugh no,” Zheng Xi replies as he leans back on the counter, “Social interaction. Not really my thing.” 

“So why are you here?” Jian Yi asks curiously, he quickly backtracks, “I didn’t mean that in like a rude way, just like why be where you don’t like to be, not that I-” 

The drummer’s laugh interrupts Jian Yi’s ramble, “No it’s okay, I get it. Management wants me to be here, and I don’t want to cause trouble so here I am.” 

“Handsome and a good boy, you must be popular with the ladies,” Jian Yi remarks with a slight tilt in his head and a gaze that would have caused Zheng Xi’s knees to grow weak if he wasn’t sitting down. 

“I'm not,” the drummer disagrees, trying to keep voice stable, “seeing that I am single and stuff.” 

"Oh, no girl in your life then?” 

Zheng Xi shrugs, trying to keep his cool, “No girl or guy.” 

“Oh,” Jian Yi breathes out, the music around them loud, but he could hear the surprise in his hushed tone despite it. 

It’s not usually a piece of information that one would easily express, given their profession, but Zheng Xi finds himself easily saying the words anyway, and couldn’t even find it within himself to regret it. 

“Me too I guess,” Jian Yi mumbles, after a couple of beats of silence. 

Zheng Xi’s heart literally sours, and he panics a little bit because he’s never ever felt like this before and he has no idea what to do with himself. Does he make a move? Should he kiss the other? Or is that too forward? Forward or not, the urge to taste the other’s lips is growing by the second, especially with how prettily the other’s mouth is now formed into a slight pout right now. 

Luckily for him, it’s Jian Yi that continues, “I have a PlayStation in my hotel room. I heard you like games. We can chill there instead of being here.” 

Zheng Xi’s mouth opens in slight shock, firstly because Jian Yi from J5 knows that he likes video games and secondly, wherever this conversation was bound to go he didn’t expect it to take him to Jian Yi’s hotel room playing video games. 

Not that they could have started making out in the middle of the bar with all these prying eyes. Usually, clubs have a whole “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy with everything that goes on there. But seeing as both of them are the hottest issues in the entertainment world at the moment, it would be unwise to do literally anything that would impact their popularity in public. 

Or maybe Zheng Xi just misread this whole interaction and Jian Yi just wanted to play video games, which the drummer is completely fine with. He just wants to spend time with the other in some way or form. And it hits him with how quick this want has grown. 

_Relax_ , he tells himself, _you just met this guy._

But despite every logical part of him telling him that it is very strange to get attracted and attached to another person this quickly, his heart honestly didn’t care. 

“Yeah,” he replies easily, “let’s go.” 

Jian Yi beams but there is a slight concern in his eyes, “Wouldn’t management be upset?” 

Zheng Xi shrugs, “Honestly at this point I don’t really care.” 

Then Jian Yi grabs his hands and interlaces their fingers, leading them out of the club. So maybe Zheng Xi didn’t misread this whole thing. 

Which later is solidified by the fact that Jian Yi’s hands are literally trembling as he swipes his card to his hotel room. But before he could turn the handle and lead them both in, he turns to Zheng Xi with the most serious expression on his face that he had since they met. 

“Um, I wasn’t sure if I was clear or not cause I did bring you here with the premise of playing video games,” Jian Yi says nervously,” But if we enter this door, we’re not playing video games. At least for a while.” 

Zheng Xi swallows, “I’m fine with that.” 

When the door opens there is a bit of shuffle as they take off their shoes, but as the door clicks shut behind them and the dark empty room invites them, in one smooth moment Zheng Xi has Jian Yi pressed up against the door. 

The idol laughs at the quick and eager movement but Zheng Xi could not even find it within himself to be embarrassed by his own eagerness, his mind occupied with thoughts of what other pretty noises Jian Yi’s mouth can make. 

He kisses the blond and smiles at the pleasant noise that escapes the other’s lips. 

But the sly smile falls off as he feels cold hands reach underneath his shirt, and he suppresses a moan as he pressed himself onto the other, feeling everything at once. 

Jian Yi takes that as a challenge and presses his fingers onto the other’s hips while he licks into the other’s mouth and Zheng Xi doesn’t have enough self-control to subdue the noise that escaped his mouth because of that. 

Jian Yi leans back at the noise with a smirk and Zheng Xi couldn’t help but slightly pout at the loss of the other’s lips. 

“Getting excited now huh?” Jian Yi breaths out, his cheeks flushed. 

Zheng Xi grins back, “Like you aren’t.” 

Then he captures the other’s lips again and there weren't many more words spoken afterwards. 

* * *

Zheng Xi wakes up at the crack of dawn, and if his body alarm clock wasn’t as insane as it is, he would be knocked out for most of the morning considering the events of the night. 

He opens his eyes and savours in the fact that his whole body pleasantly aches. It’s when he attempts to raise his arms above his head that he notices Jian Yi sprawled on top of him, his head laying on Zheng Xi’s chest while his arms are wrapped around the drummer’s waist. 

Zheng Xi takes in the tangle of blond hair and the quiet snores of the man who is cuddled up to him, and he feels warmth blossom through him. 

As he takes in the feeling, he frowns because this is absolutely not how he should react to a one night stand. Zheng Xi has had plenty of one night stands before so he knows the etiquette, he knows that he should be getting up to leave so that he could avoid the awkward morning encounter that follows a one-night stand. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to move away; he quite likes the other’s warmth and the warm feeling that the other brings. 

Hesitatingly he brings his hand up to the other’s hair and gently combs through the strands in deep thought. 

The whole feeling is so foreign to him. But Zheng Xi isn’t the type of person to run away from something unfamiliar. So he does what he always does, and just goes with it and hopes that it doesn’t lead to utter disaster. 

Within a couple of minutes after Zheng Xi awakes, Jian Yi blinks his eyes open slowly and stretches awake causing Zheng Xi to pause combing through the other’s hair. 

“Did I wake you?” Zheng Xi mumbles worryingly. 

Jian Yi blinks up at him and offers him a lazy smile, “You’re still here.” 

Zheng Xi grins back, “Didn’t have a reason to leave,” he answers simply. 

Jian Yi hums as he snuggles closer to him and Zheng Xi brings his arms around the other, “Want to play some video games after we get room service for breakfast?” 

Zheng Xi chuckles, “Couldn’t imagine anything more perfect.” 

* * *

Zheng Xi is not much of a worrier. He is more of an “I will deal with it when I get to it” type of guy. Which is why he only starts panicking about his feelings after he texts a really lame pun to Jian Yi and the other replies with a voice message holding a very loud sarcastic laugh. 

He starts panicking because that’s the exact moment he realizes he is in love with Jian Yi. 

He’s only been talking with Jian Yi for a couple of weeks, and it wasn’t even like they were officially dating. After the night they met, they just exchanged phone numbers and haven’t stopped texting ever since, with an occasional meet up at the internet cafe when they can. 

They have never hooked up again, they haven’t even kissed again either, but the warm feeling in Zheng Xi’s chest has not ceased. 

_Is it even possible to feel so enamoured with someone that you have only known for weeks?_

In the middle of his turmoil Jian Yi texts him: 

**_Still up for going to the internet cafe tonight?_ **

Zheng Xi stares at the text or a while, the words causing his heart to beat a bit too fast. Are they dating? Because when he really thinks about it, their time spent together at the internet cafe kind of resembles dates? His thumb hovers over the message. Half his mind ready to text back a negative, or to even ghost the other and just not show up. Then block his number. Even though they are both in the entertainment industry, they have such vastly different social circles that Zheng Xi is sure he could spend the rest of his life ignoring Jian Yi. 

But does he want to? 

He sighs. Just the thought of not seeing Jian Yi again is making his heart feel heavy. 

**Yeah** he texts back. 

_Oh Zheng Xi_ he thinks to himself, _look what you did, you had to go ahead and catch feelings for the most popular male idol of the country. Good job. Not that your life isn't difficult already._

When Zheng Xi arrives at the internet cafe it’s empty, like it always has been every time he visited the place. He assumed that the place must be super unpopular or it's because Jian Yi had been secretly renting out the whole room for each of their visits. He hopes the former but the latter is more likely, seeing that the person at the register literally leaves after they both arrive, while giving Jian Yi a very conspicuous little nod. 

Zheng Xi deliberately arrives a few minutes earlier than their planned time to sit on one of the chairs and stares at the empty desktop in contemplation. 

Zheng Xi is not a confrontational person. Case A: Xiao Hui. 

But he can’t just not confront Jian Yi about their relationship because… well… because it means a lot to him. 

Because he genuinely likes, honestly probably loves Jian Yi. And he knows it doesn’t make sense. He knows that he has only known the other for only a short while but he never felt so complete with another person before. His heart has never felt so light and he has never felt so _happy_. 

But all logic points for him to not get involved with Jian Yi and there are so many reasons why he shouldn’t. The biggest nemesis being his own career, and then Jian Yi’s career, and gosh there’s Xiao Hui and then there’s management getting involved and there’s the fact that they are- 

“Hey, are you okay?” A soft worried voice asks him, pulling him from his thoughts. 

Zheng Xi looks up at Jian Yi whose face is half-covered by enormous sunglasses, and eye-catching hair enshrouded by a gray hood. His pretty mouth was set into a grim frown and though Zheng Xi cannot see the other’s eyes he could imagine the gaze full of concern. 

Zheng Xi swallows nervously, “Jian Yi,” he starts hesitatingly, “are we dating?” 

Whatever Jian Yi thought the other would say, this was not it, because his mouth drops in surprise. He gets over it quickly because he takes a rolling chair and brings it close to Zheng Xi and sits on it. He takes off his sunglasses and hood, and Zheng Xi takes in the look of nervousness that passes over the other’s face. 

Jian Yi clasps his hands together, and everything about his posture screams tense, “Do you want to be?” he nervously asks back. 

Zheng Xi could say no. He could make both of their lives easier and reject Jian Yi. 

He can. 

But he doesn’t. 

“Yeah,” Zheng Xi admits. 

Jian Yi breaks into a huge grin, and he places his palm on his chest, “Gosh for a second there I thought you were going to reject me.” 

“I was going to,” the drummer replies honestly. 

The grin falls from Jian Yi’s face and Zheng Xi hates a bit of himself for causing that. 

“Why?” Jian Yi asks softly, his lips formed into a pout. 

“Because of our careers.” 

Then Jian Yi surprisingly smiles again, “Oh good, it’s not because you don’t like me.” 

“Jian Yi-” 

“I like you,” Jian Yi confesses suddenly, causing Zheng Xi’s heart to flutter, “I really really like you, and I don’t care about the repercussions that this relationship might face. We can just deal with it when we get to it. Right?” 

Then he bites his lips nervously as if he’s afraid Zheng Xi would suddenly reject him. 

Which is ridiculous. 

Zheng Xi quickly looks around even though he knows that no one would be around but them. He really needs to have a conversation with Jian Yi about renting the whole place, but that could wait. 

He leans in and kisses the other, giving him his answer. 

After all, Zheng Xi has always been a man of action. 

* * *

“I told He Tian about us,” Zheng Xi tells Jian Yi on the phone one day, his heart in his throat because though they are exclusive they have never talked about telling others.

He Tian was just being so goddamn annoying and Zheng Xi really wanted the other to admit his problems with that particular redhead and then suddenly he’s exposing his secret to the bassist. 

He Tian has that effect. 

There’s silence on the other end and Zheng Xi is clutching his phone so tightly that his fingers turn white. 

“What did he say?” Jian Yi finally asks, his voice purposefully completely monotone and void from any emotion. 

Zheng Xi bites his lips, “He… well he was happy for us. In his own teasing way.” 

“Thank god,” Jian Yi says, his tone slipping from nonchalant to genuine joy, “I’m glad he’s happy about us.”

Zheng Xi’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “You’re not upset I told him?” 

“Well, I would have liked it if you had let me know beforehand. But He Tian is your best friend so I’ll let it go. Besides it’s He Tian he probably already had some idea something was going on.” 

“He Tian is not my best friend,” the drummer mumbles. 

Jian Yi laughs, and Zheng Xi smiles at just the sound of his laughter. 

“Gosh you are such a tsundere, no one will die if you admit that you actually like He Tian, a man you have known for years, a tiny little bit.” 

“He Tian is not my best friend,” Zheng Xi says in a playful tone, “because you are.” 

“That’s right,” Jian Yi retorts gleefully, the smile heard in his voice, “but I’m glad he was good with our relationship. I know his opinion means a lot to you.” 

Zheng Xi snorts, “Like I would ever listen to him. If he had told me to break up with you I would have just punched him in the face. Besides, it would be pretty hypocritical if he got upset about me dating a man.” 

“Huh? Why is that?” 

_Gosh, what is with me running my mouth these days._

But Jian Yi is his boyfriend, and there really should be no secrets between them, even if it is another’s secret. 

So he ends up telling the other all about He Tian’s affections for the redhead from his past, and Jian Yi… well Jian Yi gets way too invested in the story. 

* * *

After their showcase, as Zheng Xi exits the stage and enters the dressing room, his body still tingling from the adrenaline from the show, the phone in his pocket rings and he picks it up excitedly, knowing exactly who it would be. 

But instead of it being Jian Yi pouring compliments about his performance when he picks up the call, the idol instead greets by saying, “He Tian’s redhead is coming to the dressing room I think.” 

Zheng Xi snorts, “Thanks for complimenting my performance. I appreciate your love and support.” 

Zheng Xi could practically see Jian Yi roll his eyes on the other end, “He looked like he was on a mission, so make sure he actually goes through with what I hope is a confession.” 

“Did you talk to him before the show?” 

“I wanted to, but he seemed so transfixed on the stage that I didn’t want to interrupt. Probably thinking about what a hunk He Tian is.” 

Zheng Xi fake gags, “Never want to hear that come out of your mouth again.” 

Jian Yi laughs, “Just make sure He Tian finally gets some tonight.” 

“You’re too obsessed with their relationship.” 

“I just want to go on some cute double dates together.”

When Zheng Xi finally sees Jian Yi it’s in an isolated storage closet at the venue, a well-known spot for performers who want to hook up with whoever as the adrenaline from performing still buzzes in them. Yeah, Jian Yi is no hook up for him, but it is also the best spot for couples who really don’t want to be found out to meet up, which is why he texted Jian Yi to meet him there after the concert ends. 

When Zheng Xi enters the storage closet and locks the door behind them, Jian Yi looks up from his phone and smiles, “Man it would have been awkward if it was someone else.” 

Zheng Xi wordlessly wraps his arms around Jian Yi, and Jian Yi laughs at the sudden affection. 

“You were beautiful,” he says to the drummer, “I don’t think I could ever get tired of watching you perform.” 

Zheng Xi leans back and gently kisses the tip of Jian Yi’s nose, “You better not because you are going to be coming to each and every one of my concerts.” 

Jian Yi hugs Zheng Xi around his neck, his arms and hand dangling behind the drummer’s back as he looks at him with amusement dancing in his eyes, “Wanna know a secret?” he playfully whispers. 

Zheng Xi smiles fondly as he draws circles with his thumb on the other’s waist, “A secret huh? Do tell.” 

“The first Silver Gun concert I went to, I couldn’t keep my eyes off you,” Jian Yi says, his eyes and smile turning soft, “I saw this guy absolutely rocking it on the drums and I was like gosh I need to get his number, or have him fuck me, whatever comes first.” 

Zheng Xi’s mouth opens in surprise, “I thoug - you were interested in me before we met at the club?” 

“Gosh, I was obsessed with you even before then. I stalked you like I was crazy, read up on all the magazines you were in, practically memorized all your tweets and even went through your Instagram feed which by the way you need to update more. Then I heard that you guys were having an after party in the same area that we were going to be at the time, I practically begged my manager to get me there. Then I saw you sitting alone at the club and decided it was now or never to shoot my shot.” 

Zheng Xi is silent for a couple of seconds, in complete shock. Jian Yi’s smile falls off his face in the silence. Awkwardly his arms fall away from the drummer and he steps back. 

“Fuck I just made this creepy didn’t I?” He asks worriedly, his face more upset than Zheng Xi has ever seen. 

Zheng Xi blinks in surprise at the loss of the other’s warmth, the surprise from that waring off the shock from the fact that Jian Yi had liked him long before he did. Immediately he reaches forward and grabs Jian Yi’s hand and brings it to his lips, “Creepy? You have no idea the wonders this does to my self-esteem.” 

Jian Yi rolls his eyes, the worry quickly dissipating. The atmosphere around them turns back to playful. 

“Well, if it wasn’t apparent from my story, just so you know,” Jian Yi whispers mischievously as he leans close, “watching you on the drums practically does it for me, so are going to fix the problem you created?” he presses himself against the other, showing exactly what the problem is. 

All of Zheng Xi’s self-control flies out the window as he pulls Jian Yi towards him and smashes their lips together, a bit harsher than he initially intended to. He was about to pull back and apologize but Jian Yi makes an appreciative noise at the back of his throat, and Zheng Xi realizes _oh this is perfectly alright_. 

He shoves Jian Yi roughly against a wall without removing his lips, his hand travelling down to Jian Yi’s waistband and tugging it, his intentions clear. 

Swiftly he drops to his knees and looks up at Jian Yi with a wicked grin. The blond stares back wide-eyed, his lips swollen and red from the harsh kisses and his breaths shallow as he takes in the view beneath him. 

“Zheng Xi,” he gasps as he reaches over to gently touch the drummer’s face, lust written all over his face. 

Zheng Xi blinks up at the other with fake innocence, his grin turning smug at the haziness in other’s eyes, “What,” he retorts his voice raspy, “weren’t you the one who asked to fix the problem that I created?” 

Harsh knocks interrupt them bringing them back to reality as they both stare blankly at the door. 

“Wei!” a voice from the other side sounding awfully like Xiao Hui yells, “I know you’re in there hooking up with someone again! The manager is looking for you, we need to get to the after party!” 

Zheng Xi stands up like he’s electrocuted, and Jian Yi looks up at him startled, “Why does she think Wei is in here?” 

“It’s his usual hook up spot,” Zheng Xi mumbles, running his fingers through his hair, still incredibly turned on from before and annoyed that he got interrupted, “he let me use it for today. One good thing about Wei is he doesn’t ask too many questions for stuff like this.” 

Unlike Xiao Hui who would definitely bombard him with questions if he opens the door right now. 

Jian Yi, reading what’s on his mind, whispers, “Maybe if we stay quiet she will leave?” 

“I know someone is in there!” Xiao Hui yells from the other side, “I’m not leaving till you get out.” 

Zheng Xi groans. He looks over at Jian Yi who is looking over at him completely startled. The idol looks so completely _ruined_ , his hair dishevelled and his lips bitten. Zheng Xi is sure he looks the same. 

If he opens the door right now and Xiao Hui takes one look at him…

“She’s gonna know,” Zheng Xi says with his heart in his throat, “if I open the door she’s gonna know, and she’s gonna be pushy and find out who I am with,” he looks around at the small storage closet, “and it’s not like you can hide anywhere…” 

He trails off and stares at the wall above Jian Yi’s head in disbelief with how things have quickly turned wrong. 

“I don’t mind if she knows,” Jian Yi says quietly, his fingers pulling on his sweater nervously, “do you?” 

Zheng Xi closes his eyes, “Jian Yi if it were just up to me I will let the whole world know that I love you. But if Xiao Hui knows she’s gonna…” 

Well, Zheng Xi isn't sure how she will react. But heartbroken and leaving the group is a definite possibility. 

“Because she likes you right? She might… react badly?” 

“Mainly that yeah.” 

“Zheng Xi,” Jian Yi says, tugging on the drummer's shirt to make him look down and open his eyes. 

When Zheng Xi looks at the other Jian Yi continues, “just say that you were experimenting. That you wanted to ride the adrenaline off so you picked the first person that was willing. That it didn’t mean anything.” 

Zheng Xi purses his lips at that as Jian Yi looks back at him earnestly. 

“No,” Zheng Xi says with no hesitation, “I’m not - no. Even if it’s a lie, I’m not going to say something like that.” 

“Zheng Xi,” Jian Yi whines softly, “don’t be stubborn about this.” 

Zheng Xi shakes his head, making his mind quickly, he doesn’t want to taint their relationship by saying something like that even though it’s a complete lie. 

He remembers the conversation that he had with He Tian. _“Xiao Hui will get over it,”_ He Tian had said. 

“I’m gonna open the door,” Zheng Xi murmurs, “she’s my band member she was bound to find out sometime soon anyway,” 

Jian Yi bites his lips, “Okay, if you’re sure.” 

Zheng Xi nods, and with his heart in his throat, he opens the door. 

He finds Xiao Hui in front of him, staring at him with her mouth open. 

“Zheng Xi,” she says in shock, “You-”, she stops and takes in the other’s appearance, “What the fuck?” 

Zheng Xi winces, “Xiao Hui-” 

“Who is it? Who did _you_ of all people decide to hook up with?” She asks accusingly, her arms crossed. 

Jian Yi walks up from behind him and awkwardly waves, “Hi, your performance was amazing.” 

Xiao Hui’s jaw drops, at a loss of words as she stares at the pair in front of her. 

In that silence Zheng Xi turns towards Jian Yi, “I’ll meet you at the hotel okay,” he says to the other quietly. Jian Yi nods, his eyes wishing his boyfriend the best of luck as he squeezes his way out, narrowly knocking into Xiao Hui’s still figure as he walks away. 

For a while, the two bandmates just stare at each other silently.

Xiao Hui clears her throat, blinking rapidly as she looks down and to Zheng Xi’s horror he sees her blink away tears. 

“So not just a hookup huh?” she asks, her voice breaking. 

“Xiao Hui,” Zheng Xi starts. 

“God you are such an asshole,” Xiao bites suddenly, looking back up at him with teary eyes but with fury, “Why would you lead me on if you - god if you didn’t even-” 

“I didn’t mean to,” Zheng Xi cuts in, hurt at her tone of words, “I just didn’t know how to reject you.” 

Xiao Hui huffs, wringing her hands and Zheng Xi vaguely wonders if he is going to get punched in the face, “You’re fucking horrible,” she sneers, “Did I ever even have a chance with you?” 

Zheng Xi swallows, “If you mean if I like girls then yes, but Xiao Hui I care about you a lot it’s just that I could never think of you that way. I should have confronted you about it but I just - well you know me I suck at stuff like that.” 

Xiao Hui takes in a deep breath and closes her eyes, her head in her hands as Zheng Xi stays perfectly still in her silence.

Zheng Xi takes in a deep breath, unsure of what to do, “I’m sorry,” he whispers earnestly, “Xiao Hui I’m sorry but I really really like him. And you’re my band member, my friend, and I would really really like it if you could be okay with this.” 

Xiao Hui weakly laughs without humour, “Yeah you must like him a lot if you are ready to risk the band by being with him. If the public ever finds out it’s gonna be a shit show.” 

Zheng Xi winces but remains quiet, it’s not like he didn’t know the risks when going into this relationship. 

Xiao Hui removes her hands from her face and sighs when she looks at the expression on the drummer’s face, “Sorry that was a bitchy thing to say. I’m not gonna lie- this fucking hurts,” she takes in a deep breath, “But I guess it’s my fault for not confessing to you and just waiting for you to magically like me back or something.” 

“Xiao Hui-” 

“Zheng Xi if he makes you happy, then I’m happy. I just need some time to get over you okay? So I’m just going to be weird for the next couple of months.” 

Zheng Xi smiles weakly, “Months?” 

Xiao Hui smiles back softly, “Yeah. Don’t get a big head but I kinda like you a lot so…” 

“Again, I’m sorry -” 

“If you apologize one more time I will actually slap you. Besides, this just proves that you were wrong.” 

Zheng Xi tilts his head in confusion, “I was wrong?” 

Xiao Hui rolls her eyes at the other’s poor memory, “About you saying true love not existing. That you could, and I quote, stop loving someone if you tried." 

Zheng Xi recalls their conversation and smiles, “Yeah I guess I was wrong.” 

_It’s the one thing I’m happy about being wrong about._

The next morning Zheng Xi wakes up with Jian Yi’s arms wrapped around his waist and the blond’s face pressed unto his shoulder. He smiles and snuggles closer to the other and Jian Yi hums appreciatively in his sleep. 

He brings his fingers to the other’s hair and gently combs through it, not quite thinking of anything in particular, just enjoying a quiet morning wrapped in the arms of the man he loves. 

In the quietness of the bedroom, Zheng Xi could hear, could feel, Jian Yi’s heartbeats. An even and steady rhythm. A drummer through and through Zheng Xi loves rhythm, the steady beat of literally anything his favourite sounds. 

And the drum of Jian Yi’s heart is his favourite beat in the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> i know a lot of people probably wanted interactions between guan shan and jian yi but i felt that i should focus on jian yi's and zheng xi's relationship more. i really like writing in this alternate universe so hopefully, there would be more fics in this series to come. 
> 
> please leave kudos and comments! thanks for reading!!!


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